Being handed over to the torturers

God wants us to forgive. Duh, right? From the book of Sirach to the Gospel of Matthew, forgiveness is one of the cornerstones of our faith. Jesus made it very clear with the one and only prayer to Our Father: “Forgive us our trespasses AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.” There may be some messages in the Bible that are complex or inscrutable. Forgiveness is not one of them. It’s as black and white as “Love your neighbor with all your strength.” God wants us to forgive.

But don’t overlook the primary reason why we are to forgive. It’s not for the benefit of our brothers and sisters; it’s for our benefit. Forgiveness is an act of kindness to those around us, but it’s the key to freedom for each one of us who forgives.

I’ve said before in this conversation that I am a recovering alcoholic. For 12 years now, I have been blessedly free of the influence of alcohol, following decades of trial-and-mostly-error efforts to “control” my drinking. Forgiveness is one of the reasons why I don’t drink today. It’s foundational.

The basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. But for the alcoholic, it is even worse. “For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.” To live any sort of life, an alcoholic must forgive.

In the course of preparing to write this particular chapter, I went looking for other books on forgiveness. It wasn’t hard to quickly pull out texts where faith and forgiveness are intertwined in the same binding. God tells the story through many authors.

Rwandan genocide survivor and evangelist Immaculee Ilibagiza tells a heartwrenching story of forgiving the man who’d led the slaughter of her family and who hunted her for three months while she hid in a bathroom with seven other starving women. Megachurch pastor-turned-Catholic Allen Hunt offers up 12 stories of people whose lives were changed by the power of forgiveness in “Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody” (a book so powerful it’s now in its third edition). Forgiveness is everywhere in our faith.

In Matthew’s Gospel where Jesus tells the parable of forgiveness (after telling Peter to forgive his neighbor seventy-times-seven), the unforgiving servant was “handed over to the torturers.” All of us have been handed over to those torturers at one time or another. But the torturers are not men with whips or knives. The torturers are those thoughts, feelings and torments inside us that come when we are angry at someone. The torturers are with us every moment of every day spent in anger at our family, our friends and our neighbors. They are vicious. And they are relentless.

Please don’t ever forget that God wants you to forgive because He loves YOU. Forgiveness is an act of kindness to your brother, but forgiveness is an essential part of your own well-being. Anger and resentment causes pain. Your pain is God’s pain; He feels it along with you. And He knows that your pain cannot be released unless you release it. I pray that you will find that willingness today. Your eternal life depends upon it.

Remember; we can walk away from the torturers any time we want to; we can “repay every penny,” with three simple words: “I forgive you.”  

Simple Christianity

Today’s post is short because, well, you just can’t improve on it.

In Chapter 8 of his letter to the Romans, Paul said the commandments all come down to this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence love is the fulfillment of the law.

Ponder.

Practice.

Repeat.

Prayers for when it’s all too much

Do you ever find yourself holding the weight of the world in your hands at prayer time? It’s one of those days where you are praying for healing for Aunt Nettie’s cancer, sobriety for Great-Uncle Will, peace in any one of seven different countries, wisdom for local/state/national/pick two government leaders, peace of mind, forgiveness of sins…and, oh yes…could I get a little relief for this one worry I have? You know the sort of day I’m talking about.

This morning was one of those for me. I was getting settled in for Mass, and part of my normal pre-service ritual is to look into my heart and offer up all of the needs and concerns I find there. For whatever reason, today there were lots of them. They would have to delay the Mass for a half hour or so if I was to list off all of the needs that required God’s attention. But, as so often happens in the middle of my “me-led prayers,” God intervened.

Midway through my lengthy prayer list, the Still, Small Voice whispered “Hush,” and (for a change) I obeyed. And then He offered a suggestion: instead of me presuming to know what He should focus on this particular Sunday, perhaps I could be more helpful if my prayer was: “Here I am, Lord; send me where you need me.” After all, my service to the Lord is generally most useful within an arm’s reach. Rather than trying to solve the problems in Africa, Asia, and Antarctica (penguins have problems too, I assume), couldn’t I make a bigger difference by asking for the strength to be the best “me” I can manage right here? Surely the person next to me would benefit by a big ole Christian hug, a smile or a helping hand with that particular widget. God put you where you are for a reason. Today’s prayer should be for open eyes to see the reason I am here and to do the work that needs doing in this place.

God answers prayers; of that there is no doubt. He cares deeply about the illnesses, wars, addictions and worries of the world (including penguins). We are all His children, and He grieves the suffering of each one of us. We are encouraged to bring our needs to Him.

But, in addition to our petitions, He asks us when we pray to offer ourselves in service. Because we need to be a part of His solution. One of the most wonderful mysteries of life is how God uses His children to work His wonders. Does He have to work through us? No. Is there a life-giving reason why He does so? No doubt. Do I fully understand this mystery? Nope. Does it give me joy anyway? Yes, it does.

So, bring your concerns about Aunt Lucey to the Lord. Offer up Gwen’s bad back, inflation and healing for your Mom’s dementia. Those are worthy offerings and the Lord loves it when we show our love for others by offering them up in prayer. But don’t forget to finish every prayer with the most important ingredient of all: yourself. “Here I am, Lord. Use me where I am in whatever way You need me. Amen.”

What’s in a name?

God is not God’s name. Our God is THE God; the one true God. He is the God of the Universe. He created it all, from the smallest grain of sand to the boundless stars and galaxies and everything in between. He put us here and He guides every breath that we take. He is the God of the great and of the small. But God is not his name.

God is the shorthand title for this being who created everything that exists; the same one who cares about everything that exists, and who loves each of us. God is love. But love is not His name either.

So, who is this Guy? (or Gal; yes, God is both–and more).

Moses was the only human to pierce this mystery. On Mount Horeb, when Moses first became aware of God in the form of a burning bush (see Exodus 3:13-15), he asked God His name. God told Moses, “I am who I am…tell the people “I AM” has sent me to you.”

As with many things Biblical, this didn’t make sense to me for many years. It wasn’t even very good grammar. But over time, the fog has lifted. At least a little. That short-sounding name tells us a whole lot.

God is the one who existed before time; who exists now in all things; and who will exist when time no longer exists. He is in all things, above all things and He causes all things. Each of us breathes because of God. Without God’s presence, the universe would cease to exist. He is the life force of everything. And therefore, “I AM” is a perfectly logical name. It encompasses all existence because God encompasses all existence. It is eternal—it existed before, now, and always–because God is eternal. What other name would capture all of everything?

The name of God is in itself a subject worthy of both thoughtful meditation and pondering. It’s a mystery worth staring at. The Second Commandment says, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in Vain.” Mostly, we interpret this to mean that we won’t make a promise by God’s name without meaning it, and we won’t use it in a blasphemous manner.

Devout Hebrews take this respect a step further and generally won’t say or write the name of God at all. Out of respect for His name, they won’t put it on paper or into a digital form if there is a chance it may be erased. The Catholic Church, while not drawing a hard line, respects this position. The Catechism of the Catholic Church, at paragraph 209 says, “Out of respect for the holiness of God, the people of Israel do not pronounce his name. In the reading of sacred scripture, the revealed name is replaced by the divine title, “Lord.” (In Hebrew “Adonai,” in Greek “Kyrios”).

We don’t give names the consideration they received in ancient days. We are more of the Shakespearean philosophy, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” To modern ears, a name is a label and nothing more. It’s a few syllables that make particular noises that cause a particular individual to respond when called. But names used to be recognized as much more than human dog whistles. Names told the story of the named; who they were and where they came from. Names could be aspirational; embodying the hopes that parents have for the named. (Two of my grandchildren are named Eleanor and Calvin, for the Roosevelt and Coolidge persons of those names. No pressure, kids.)

Catholics often used the names of saints for their children. In my case, I was named after Saint Gerard Majella, patron saint of expectant mothers. (My mom had thirteen children and my wife was mother and foster mother to 27; don’t tell me names don’t have meaning!)

Names can tell stories even when they don’t. One of my daughters-in-law has no nickname. She’s a perfectly lovely young woman, kind and intelligent. But nicknameless. We have tried to help out, but most of our efforts have been unappreciated, and besides, they just don’t fit.

After thinking about names for a while, I have come to the conclusion that Shakespeare was wrong. A Calvin by any other name would NOT smell as sweet (okay, bad metaphor for a pre-pubescent boy, but you get the drift). I think that, even today, our names tell stories. We have to take a little bit more time to ponder them and consider the story, but it’s there. Each of us is someone unique and distinct; a one-of-a-kind creation living a one-of-a-kind existence. And our God is the greatest story ever told.

What’s the point of your marriage?

It’s confession time. (No, not THAT confession; although it’s probably time for one of those as well.) It’s time to acknowledge something about the church that I’ve never fully-understood. Why is marriage a sacrament? What puts the natural biological pairing of men and women into the same category as Baptism, Confession, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick, Holy Orders and above all, the Eucharist? What’s the big deal about two people saying, “I do” that places it in the same category as receiving the body of Jesus Christ himself?

As my parish priest is fond of saying, “The answer is love. What was the question again?”

Marriage, above everything else, is an expression of intense love.  At its proper best, married love is a merger of all the recognized forms of love: physical, emotional, spiritual and practical. It is both altruistic and self-serving, and often at the same time. It encompasses all six of the classic Greek terms for love, including agape, eros, philia, storge, philautia and xenia. (More on these in a future post.) Marriage is as close as human beings can get to expressing the kind of love for one another that God has for us. And love is the answer to that “Why am I here?” basic human question that gnaws at each of us. Because God is love. And God uses Himself–He uses Love–to call us home.

Make no mistake, God’s greatest desire is to bring each and every one of His children home to Himself. He wants every person on Earth to join Him in Heaven. Every one. Every Christian, every Moslem, every Buddhist, every atheist. From the holiest saint to the lowliest murderer; God does not want to lose a single child that He has created. In fact, those who have strayed the furthest are the ones He pursues the most vigorously.

My favorite vision of God is the father of the prodigal son. He watches every day down the long road, hoping to see his son return. Day after day, week after week, month after month, he is faithful. He watches and watches and watches. When the young man finally does return, the dignified father runs down the road toward him, embracing the son who has done absolutely nothing to deserve such a reception. God doesn’t see his sins; God sees His child. And that child has come home.

Marriage brings us home. Marriage puts two people together; binds them together and then builds them together. They shape themselves; first as two individuals, but soon as a single couple. The two become one flesh, and they become one spirit. Marriage is both metaphor and practical application of what the Church calls the “Mystical Body of Christ.” It is us coming together as distinct individuals and through the process of mutual giving we become one.  We become one in love. We learn from each other how to love. We learn to love without payment.

We learn to love with the patience of the prodigal son’s father, as we watch our spouses struggle with their own prodigality. How many billions of spouses around the world have stood with the father of the prodigal son, watching hopefully every day for their beloved to return from his or her selfishness, infidelity, anger, addiction or any one of the many other things that draw us away from home? How many days have we spent praying when prayer would seem hopeless? The love that is marriage is the love of the Father. It is a love that cannot stop because it is written into our creation.

The sacraments were instituted by Jesus as practical tools to strengthen us for the journey home. We are truly pilgrims on a very difficult journey, and the sacraments are our survival kit. They are the map that guides us and the food that feeds us. Marriage is a sacrament, a part of that survival kit, because this journey is too hard for an individual. It is a sacrament because it IS God, in the form of love. At the same time, it is a tool that allows us to strengthen our love. And, because it is two people joining together as one, it is the Body of Christ.

What’s the point of marriage? The answer is love.

On loneliness

In May the United States Surgeon General issued a public health advisory. No, we aren’t heading for another pandemic and the prospect of two years working in our jammies and waving at our grandchildren from the windows. But, in some ways, Dr. Vivek Murthy’s advisory is even more disturbing. The nation’s #1 physician is warning us that a new plague is sweeping the nation, and this plague has the capacity to harm us every bit as much as COVID 19. This “new” plague has a very common name: loneliness.

Our new age has been called “the information age.” We can access more information at the touch of a finger than our parents could have imagined. There’s a story about how, at nine years old, Abraham Lincoln walked several miles to a neighbor’s house to borrow a book on the life of George Washington. My nine-year-old granddaughter could access the same book, and millions more, from all over the world, simply by laying her index finger on an “app” on her tablet computer.

This incredible advancement has undoubtedly helped make our lives better.  We can consult with our doctor over the telephone. We can buy anything we need (and even more things we don’t need!) on-line. And there is no household repair job for which there aren’t thousands of helpful video how-to’s available at the swipe of a finger. We live in a hyper-connected world.

Except that we don’t. This explosion of information has reduced the need for us to be out and about, and we are responding. Along with the explosion of data, there has been an implosion of our interactions with other people. Twenty-three years ago, a Harvard professor wrote “Bowling Alone,” a seminal work detailing how participation in nearly every form of social connection had been dropping. Everything from churches to bowling teams were experiencing a dropoff in participation; a dropoff that has continued through today. And this isolation is not healthy.

I won’t go through the statistics, but you can read up on them yourself. The bottom line is that a human being is less healthy living in isolation than in company with others.

Here’s a shock: God told us that from the very beginning. After God finished shaping the Earth and populating it with plants, flowers and beasts, He realized that something critical was missing. “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And thus, Adam and Eve began our human journey. Together.

On our wedding anniversary last month, my wonderful helpmate pointed me to another example of God’s recognition that solitude is not His desired plan for humanity. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is worth reading: “Two people are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

From the very beginning, we were designed to be together; to help one another and to keep one another warm, both physically and spiritually. As often seems to be the case with new inventions and innovations, our “Information Age,” has done wonders for our physical needs and wants, but seems to be completely missing the mark with regard to our emotional and spiritual needs.

This is more than a statement about marriage. Human beings need the social connections that we get in churches, schools, clubs and societies. Even our form of government, representative democracy, relies upon social connection. Democracy works when people with different viewpoints gather together to talk, because in talking we find common ground on everything from filling potholes to immigration. Lobbying one-sentence insults at one another on (anti-)social media may attract a lot of attention, but it doesn’t accomplish anything. We are at our best when we are with one another. We are at our most vulnerable when we are alone.

See you in church next Sunday?

Trust

I’m back again; sorry for the long pause. Once again, my stock of ideas dried up and then life got in the way. But I’m back now, and this time I’m trusting either God or my wife to push me forward.

God puts a lot of stock in trust, doesn’t he? Last week, one of the daily Mass readings was the story about God “putting Abraham to the test” by telling him to sacrifice his son Isaac (Genesis 22). The story has Abraham following God’s instructions without question, even though Isaac was the son through whom God had promised him grandchildren and other heirs “more numerous than the stars.” If I were in Abraham’s shoes, I at least would have given the angel a really long look, but not Abraham. He gathered up some firewood, his son, and set off for Mt. Moriah. God sent an angel to stop Abraham before hurting Isaac, but Abraham was willing, and because of that, God rewarded him with long life and a huge family.

God’s trust theme doesn’t end with the first book of the Bible. It seems that nearly every Biblical story comes to a good end when people trusted God, or a bad end because they didn’t. Even my favorite Apostle, St. Peter, found himself in over his head (literally) when he momentarily lost his focus on Jesus and sank into the Sea of Galilee (MT 14:22-33). Only moments before, Peter was walking on water, but like the rest of us, he forgot, he failed to trust, and he allowed the world to pull him down.

Zechariah, John the Baptist’s father, was struck mute for nine months simply for talking back to an angel who proclaimed that Elizabeth was going to have a child. (See the first 25 or so verses of Luke 1). He doubted and Gabriel told Zechariah that he would not be able to speak because of his lack of trust. He only got his voice back after John was born and Zechariah confirmed God’s wish that the boy be named “John.”

Mary of course is the exception, the one who never doubted, the one who always kept her focus and faith on Jesus and God. “I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your word.” Is it any wonder she is the Queen of Heaven?

One of our most fundamental, and human, failings is lack of trust. Over thousands of years, and with even more thousands of examples public and private, God proves again and again that we would be better off if we simply listened to His word and followed it. Instead, we are determined to try it “our way” first (sometimes, second, third and fourth too). In my own life, I can point to many instances where following God’s word led me down the right road. Unfortunately, I can point to even more when following my own lead just made things harder.

Trusting God is not easy. Sometimes His word is hard to hear. Other times, because God’s way is so different than the way of the world, it’s hard for us to accept or understand. There’s no quick and easy answer to that dilemma. It’s our burden in this world. The best we can do is remind ourselves, not just every day but every moment, that we are His children, and the best answer to any of life’s challenges will always be “Your will be done.”

Another day, another worry, or another blessing?

I just ran across this entry in my personal journal.

Looking ahead to Friday from the night before:

Tomorrow is going to be a horrible day. I have too much to do and not enough time to do it. My day starts too early; I have a 7:00 a.m. meeting, after which I grudgingly-committed to have a one-on-one conversation with someone who says they need to meet with me. Then I have to race back to work for an ad hoc committee meeting on a topic that was dreamed up by one of my board members who I don’t really respect. Following that, I’m overbooked with three appointments essentially on top of one another. And then to top it all off, we’re having friends over for dinner and cards. I have a magazine column to finish and dozens of small jobs to do that will never get done. God, I can’t do all of this!

Looking back on Friday from bedtime:

Today was a great day. I got up early enough to take some time for prayers. It was peaceful and quiet. The early morning meeting was a joy. I started off telling my friends that my life is totally out of control. We talked. It was good. The friend who needed some of my private time wanted to let me know that he is doing well. We had a good conversation. The ad hoc committee was very positive; the group came up with some useful ideas for making a clunky process better. We finished early and one of my afternoon appointments could meet earlier than planned. That stretched out the afternoon and allowed all the meetings to fit in place nicely. Finally, our friends backed out of dinner because one of them was developing a cold. Friday night was a relaxing night in front of the TV. God, thank you for a blessings-filled day!

How does your day look?

“As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given to you besides. Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom.” (LK 12:29, 31 and 32)

So, where’s your Nineveh?

Yes, the Prodigal Poster is back again. I continue to violate every rule of good blogging. They say whatever you do, stick to a regular schedule of new messages. Don’t let other things get in the way of posting.  Not me; I let everything get in the way of writing. I come up with all sorts of excuses for not writing on a regular basis. Too busy; too busy; too busy.

How often do we walk in circles around what we really ought to be doing, burning more calories avoiding the work than we would have expended doing it? Surely I’m not the only one of us who can come up with more excuses not to do the right thing than to do it? God didn’t give us the example of Jonah for just my sake, did he? Sigh.

Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh. Ninevites didn’t like strangers, and Jonah suspected someone from out of town who came in to tell them they were going to die for living the good life was not going to be very popular. He tried to talk God out of sending him, but God persisted. God loved His people in Nineveh and He needed someone to carry that message to them. Jonah was it, and you know how God can be when He’s made up His mind about His children. Jonah was going to Nineveh whether he liked it or not.

It’s amazing how hard we will work to avoid doing the right thing. Let’s all blame Jonah; we learned procrastination from him. He didn’t make it easy for the Almighty. Nineveh was to the right, so Jonah got on a ship bound as far to the left as he could find. God had to send a storm after him, putting the literal “Fear of God” into the sailors who tossed Jonah overboard so they wouldn’t perish. And then, to underline his point, God sent a giant fish to swallow up Jonah and spit him out three days later…at Nineveh.

Eventually, Jonah said the prehistoric equivalent of “Fine, God, FINE! I’ll go to Nineveh.” He still didn’t love the idea. I imagine he expected to get about fifteen feet into the city before someone tossed a rock at him or put him in jail for being a pest. But instead, a miracle happened. The people immediately listened to this guy from out of town who smelled like the insides of a fish. They repented of their sins and turned back to God. The town was saved because of God’s love, with a little help from a reluctant prophet.

God doesn’t ask us to do the heavy lifting. He takes care of the big stuff. But His creation was designed to require our help. Before He can work His miracles and His love, He wants us to lead the way; to spread the word, to give permission, to welcome him into our hearts. That’s often not easy. Opening ourselves to do God’s work rather than our own demands faith and that dreaded other word: humility. Our proud human natures resist, and we look for ways to get out of calling the sinner, helping the poor, touching the leper, and loving our neighbor. We run away from Nineveh every day.

Thankfully, God doesn’t send big fish after all of us. But make no mistake; we do get swallowed up in other ways. Depression, anxiety, addiction, loneliness, anger; these are all fishes that swallow us up when we turn away from the mission God set for us. Leaving God’s path looks seductive, but “My way,” is never the “highway.” It’s a rocky, bumpy, steep, slippery and weedy trail that leads nowhere. Our souls seek the warmth of God’s love; we are drawn toward him like we are drawn to a warm campfire on a cold night. When we turn away, it is cold and dark, like the insides of a giant fish.

Where’s your Nineveh? Where is God calling you to go, but fear…or maybe excess comfort…is holding you back? Let’s go there together.

See you next week.

From your heart

The way God’s creation works is really cool. It’s all very ‘concentric.’ Things start from a center and ripple outward. Have you ever noticed this? The universe, atoms, and love all work the same way. For our purposes, the only one of those three that we can alter in a meaningful way is love. Let’s you and I focus on love (while God keeps both the universe and all of the atoms in it spinning in the proper fashion).

As with all things in God’s creation, love works in a very logical concentric fashion. We start at the center and work our way outward. The center of course, is God. A good day of love starts with prayer. We offer ourselves up to God. Then meditation. We welcome God into our minds, bodies and souls; both to fix what needs fixing and to strengthen us for the day’s crosses. Then comes love of neighbor.

If we’ve started the day with prayer and meditation, loving our neighbor is easy. Psalm 90 says, “Fill us with your love, O Lord, and we will sing for joy!” Once you’ve invited God inside you, things just sort of take off on (His) own power. Our spouses, children, pets and coworkers will be easy to love when we are filled with the love of God. In fact, it will be impossible NOT to show that love to everyone around you.

Don’t believe me? Try it. For the next week, make it a point to start your day with prayer and meditation. For prayers, reach for whatever you love the most; scripture, the rosary, reflection books, or a beautiful sunrise and a warm cup of coffee. God is everywhere and in everything, so He’s kinda hard to miss. Talk to Him. Listen to Him. Words are optional.

Then spend time in meditation; resting your brain. If you don’t think you’re good at meditation, don’t worry; God’s pretty good at it. Just sit there and breathe deeply. He will take care of the rest.

Now, go and face the world. After a very short time, a peculiar thing will happen; the world will be better than it was yesterday. Your spouse will be lovelier and wiser; your children will amaze you and warm your heart. Even your least favored politician will say something that causes you to think to yourself, “Hmm, that’s a good point.”

Your world will be different because you are different. You may not notice the change in yourself, but everyone within your sphere of influence will. You’ll be a glowing warm presence for them; someone they trust and just want to be around. They will feel better having spent time with you. And that will affect their interactions with others. And so it ripples outward from the center, which is God’s love.

Please try it; it works.