Do you sometimes picture yourself in the Gospel stories? You’re standing horrified at the foot of the cross with Mary and John; or sitting in awe on the floor next to Mary as Jesus speaks (and her sister Martha frets). Placing yourself in the story is a useful form of prayer.
For some reason, one scene where I easily see myself is in the boat with Jesus and the disciples right after Jesus fed 4,000 people with seven loaves of bread and a few fish (see Chapter 8 of Mark’s Gospel, verses 14-21). I’m not at the feast; I’m in the boat later, as we’re sailing from one place to another. The disciples just realized they forgot to pack food for the trip (that was probably my job…oops, sorry guys), and we’re trying to figure out how to get along with just one loaf of bread.
Jesus uses this as a teaching moment, first warning the disciples to watch out for the bread offered by the Pharisees and by King Herod. But then he asks us how many people he fed with just seven loaves, or the other time when Jesus fed 5,000 with just 5 loaves. He completes his lesson with a question, “Do you not yet understand?”
At that point, I’ll be honest; I’d be the one in the back of the crowd nodding blankly, but not having a clue. Later, I’d say to Peter, “Um…did you understand what Jesus just said?” Hopefully, Peter, who is more on my intellectual wavelength, could unravel Jesus’ comments for me. Because I don’t always “get it” the first time. But that’s okay.
One of the greatest joys of my faith is that it has been a never-ending series of “Wow!” moments; moments when something becomes clear to me that was never clear before. I often feel like I have some sort of recurring chronic blindness when it comes to our Lord’s message; Jesus has to open my eyes again and again and again. Jesus looks at me and says, “Don’t you see?” And my answer is, “Umm…” In desperation, I go digging around through the Bible, the Catechism, Catholic web sites, or I’ll sit Father Randy down and ask him to explain it to me. Then comes the “WOW!”
For a long time, this recurring confusion was a stumbling block to my faith. Parts of the message just didn’t make any sense to me and that kept me from building a relationship with Jesus. How can someone be your friend when you don’t have ANY idea what he’s talking about half the time? I felt like the message wasn’t for me. How wrong I was.
Jesus did not build a church on intellectual brilliance. He did not seek out the wise or well-educated. Yes, His message is complete, true and perfect. Yes, it has meanings that are so deep they go to the core of creation itself. And yes, even the most brilliant theological scholars can spend lifetimes studying the Bible and still not fully-comprehend its subtleties.
But Jesus’ ministry is meant to reach into the hearts of children and childlike adults. “Love God and love your neighbor,” is a world-altering commandment that can be understood by a kindergartner. Jesus even warns us that the Faith requires a certain degree of childlike acceptance. His love was meant for all of us, no matter where we fit on the intellectual scale.
So, whether you see yourself at the table with Jesus and Simeon, discussing the law and the prophets, or at the back of the boat with me, sometimes clueless, thrilled to simply be present, know that you are exactly where Jesus wants you. He wants you close to him, part of his company. When you put yourself in that story, picture him looking at you and smiling because he knows you missed the point of the story, but He is glad you’re with him. Perhaps he rolls his eyes and smiles at you, or messes up your hair.
And then, be prepared for the “Wow!”
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